Children Reflect the Treatment They Receive

This may seem like a no brainer, but children reflect the treatment they receive. There is a whole website dedicated to this topic, please check it out naturalchild.org.  If you want a kinder less cruel world, it must start in the home.   If you want children (and ultimately adults) that are non-violent, it’s simple.  Don’t spank or hit your children.

Even though their are animal cruelty laws, yet somehow it’s still legal to punish children with violence.  According to a an article in Mothering Magazine May-June 2009, “Spare the child, spoil the rod”, physical punishment is described to include hitting, washing a child’s mouth out with soap, making him sit or stand uncomfortably for long periods of time, or forcing her to perform excessive physical exertion.  The article also states that such punishments are ineffective because:

• Children do not learn why their behavior iswrong or how they should behave
• Pain and fear can deter children from understanding and internalizing the parents’ intended disciplinary message
• Children learn to avoid poor behavior solely in order to avoid punishment
• It models for children that aggressive behavior is appropriate
• Children may become afraid of their parent and learn to associate love with violence

Beyond that it’s the little things, like the way people speak to children.  Children, even babies are just tiny versions of adults with real feelings and needs.  Why is it we adults are so quick to dismiss the needs of these little people as less than our own.

I would like to challenge you to really tune into your children. Stop and ask yourself this question, “is this how I would like to be treated?”.  When discipline issues arise try to get to the core issue.  Are your children in need of sleep, food, love, or compassion?  Do they really deserve to be yelled at or punished or are they just doing what children do, play.  Maybe they are looking for attention and just want to play with you.

Simple Advice for New Parents

The addition of a baby to anyone’s life is a major change. Your life changes in countless little ways because of this new responsibility – often in ways you do not expect. Your expenses change as well – you spend more on some things and less on others.

Trent has eight little thoughts/pieces of advice for all of you new parents out there.

1. The biggest thing your child needs is your time
2. The introduction of a child is a perfect time for other changes
3. It’s not as expensive as you think it’s going to be
4. Reusable supplies trump disposable supplies
5. Make time for just your spouse
6. Eat healthier
7. Make an extra effort to find and build relationships with other new parents
8. Reach out to your parents as well

For more details check out the full post at Eight Thoughts for New Parents

Enabling Self Indulgent Adult Children

When to say no. Paying for your adult children.

This section is the real advice for parents supporting adult children

Set up a plan so that you can wean your child off of your expense account. Give the child a period of time to find a job, to save some money and then to move out or to start paying their own rent. Offer emotional support and guidance, but cut off the ready flow of funds. Make being a dependent unpleasant, but don’t stop showing your love for the child.

So how do you avoid these issues in the first place?

• Set strict boundaries for your adult aged children well in advance
• Communicate these rules early and often
• Enforce them as they approach the appropriate age

Are you a parent struggling with these issues?  Are you child dependent on your parents?  How do you draw the line in your situation?

Self Indulgent Children via [SavingsAdvice]

Why you should put your kids in Private School

David G. Mitchell has an interesting post over at SavingAdvice.com on why you should fore go public education for private schools.  What do you think?  Are public schools effective for you?  Are you thinking or using private schools?

Suffolk County signs BPA ban

Suffolk County Executive Steve Levy has signed the nation’s first BPA ban into law. The law bans BPA from empty children’s containers like sippy cups and bottles, and will go into effect in 90 days. The infants of Long Island just got a little safer.  I’m still worried that companies will simply change from one harmful chemical to another, but at least this is a good start.

For more info on BPA check out all you need to know about plastics.

Free Goodnites Sample

Offers kids a cool new style that provides trusted nighttime protection. They help keep your child comfortable and confident throughout the night.

@ Walmart

Paint with Spaghetti

Otterhopdotcom put together a cool tutorial on How to use spaghetti to paint like Jackson Pollock. Although this would be great for kids this technique can be used by anyone who wants to lay down some interpretive paint. All you need are some shallow bowls, paint, cooked spaghetti, and a blank surface to paint on—whether that surface is a small canvas or your office wall is up to you. Throw some spaghetti in each bowl and stir it around, then commence with the twirling, slapping, dripping, and spinning of spaghetti to canvas to create your colorful abstract masterpiece.

Mimicking Jackson Pollock abstract art @ Instructables

Computer interfaces for Kids and Babies

KidsMenu is a kid-friendly way to corral your kids towards pre-selected applications and keep them out of trouble when they are on your computer.  Via: Lifehacker

Baby Smash: As babies smash on the keyboard, colored shapes, letters and numbers appear on the screen. Baby Smash will lock out the Windows Key, as well as Ctrl-Esc and Alt-Tab so your baby can’t get out of the application. Pressing ALT-F4 will exit the application and Shift-Ctrl-Alt-O brings up the options dialog.

Edubuntu: An entire Operating System dedicated to education loaded with fun applications and games that aid childhood learning.

From their site: Edubuntu’s objective is to create an integrated and usable experience for educational users by enhancing Ubuntu with educational applications, tools, content, and themes.

Two worst case scenarios

This American Life aired an episode recently that recounts two families personal accounts of the teenage years going completely wrong. Two stories that are worst case scenarios for any parent. In each story, when you take apart what happened and how it happened, it’s hard to see how anyone could’ve prevented things from going bad.

Didn’t Ask to Be Born

First Story

Debra Gwartney loved her two oldest daughters like she loved herself. And they loved her in return. But Debra got a divorce, moved the family to Oregon, and relations with her daughters got worse and worse. Finally, at the ages of thirteen and fourteen, they ran away.  In this story, Debra and her daughters try and retrace what exactly went wrong.

Second Story

Brent Runyon tells the story of the day in eighth grade that he set himself on fire … and what led to that. He wasn’t a loner, he had friends, his mother was a teacher, his parents took an interest in his life.

These stories are gripping and dreadful at the same time, almost like watching a car wreck.  You want to hear the story and find out that everything will be ok, but you don’t want to hear all the grisly details.  What could these parents have done differently to show these kids that they loved them, and kept them from going this far?

Your kid is not special!

All parents want there kids to have a high self-esteem and feelings of value.  But do you ever get that feeling that we are over-praising our children, and turning an entire generation into egomaniacs?

More parenting videos on JuiceBoxJungle

There are some good food for thought items here including:

• Why over-praise is as addictive as cigarettes (really!).
• When to lavish praise — and when to skip the happy dance. (Hint: “You woke up!” is not cause for celebration.)
• Why parents feel the need to lie about throwing away their kids’ art.
• How to boost your kid’s self-esteem without creating a spoiled brat.

We all think our kids are special.  And they ARE special.  They are special to you and your family.
How do you feel about praising your kids work and efforts?

Via Parenting.com